Author Topic: Women one-liners  (Read 910 times)

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Alsatian

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Women one-liners
« on: December 30, 2011, 09:42:22 PM »
We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.   

I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it. So I said "Implants?"   

A  man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did.   

Women have a passion for mathematics. They divide their age in half, double the price of their clothes.
   
At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" The other replied "Yes, I am, I married the wrong man."   

My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate. So I got two girlfriends.
   
Behind every successful man, there is a woman And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.   

Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition   

There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.   

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
   
My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.   

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.   

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
   
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.   

I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, "There is water in the carburetor." I said, "Where's the car?" She said, "In the lake."
   
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.   

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.   

After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." The husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice."   

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.   

I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months - I don't like to interrupt her.
Fertility Is Hereditary, Chances Are If Your Parents Didn't Have Children Neither Will You

 

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