Dont forget if any special offers ,like BOGOF who posted in the first place.

I anybody know were i can get a pre hung door around Chesterfield,looked on Arnold laver site etc i need two Ledged & Braced type doors for my out house so i can just remove and replace existing doors,i am getting idle in my old age and just want to replace the easiest way,  i need one to open in and the other to open outwards.

I met this huge breasted woman in a bar, she said if i came outside in the alley with her, she would let me play with her chest!

Once outside, she beat hell out of me and stole my wallet..............I'm afraid, it was a booby trap!

MAKE ME FEEL LIKE A WOMAN !!
On a transatlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm.

The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning.

One woman, in particular, loses it. Screaming, she stands up in the front of the plane.

'I'm too young to die,' she wails.

Then she yells, 'If I'm going to die, I want my last minutes on earth
To be memorable!

Is there anyone on this plane who can make me feel like a WOMAN?'

For a moment there is silence. Everyone has forgotten their own peril.

They all stare, eyes riveted, at this desperate woman in the front of the plane.

Then a cowboy from Australia stands up in the rear of the plane.

He is handsome, well built, with dark brown hair and blue eyes.

He starts to walk slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt, one
Button at a time.

No one moves. He removes his shirt. Muscles ripple across his chest.

She gasps.
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
He whispers . . .

'Iron this. Then get me a beer'.
 

There was a knock on the door this morning.

 

 I opened it to find a young man standing there who said:

 

 

 "Hello sir, I'm a Jehovah's Witness."

 

I said "Come in and sit down."

 

I offered him coffee and asked "What do you want to talk about?"

 

He said, "Beats the shit out of me, I've never gotten this far before."

There once was an Indian who had only one testicle
and whose given name was 'Onestone'.

 He hated that
name and asked everyone not to call him Onestone.


After years and years of torment, Onestone finally
cracked and said,' If anyone calls me Onestone
again I will kill them!'

The word got around and nobody called
him that any more.

Then one day a young woman named Blue Bird
forgot and said, 'Good morning, Onestone.' He
jumped up, grabbed her and took her deep into
the forest where he made love to her all day and
all night. He made love to her all the next day,
until Blue Bird died from exhaustion.


The word got around that Onestone meant what
he promised he would do.

Years went by and no
one dared call him by his given name until A woman
named Yellow Bird returned to the village after being
away.

Yellow Bird , who was Blue Bird's cousin, was
overjoyed when she saw Onestone.

She hugged him
and said, 'Good to see you, Onestone.'
Onestone grabbed her, took her deep into the forest,
then he made love to her all day, made love to her all
night, made love to her all the next day, made love to
her all the next night, butYellow Bird wouldn't die!








Why 








OH, come on... take a guess !!!








Think about it !!!








Everyone knows..


You can't kill Two Birds


with OneStone!!!