Chesterfield Online Forum
General Category => General Discussion => Topic started by: Old Cruser on May 21, 2012, 12:47:06 PM
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From Microsoft?
It seems I have a virus in my system??? If you just let me into your pc maam??
p--s orf!!
Well I didn't actually say that - but when I explained my pc was used for work and I had an I T company to sort any techinical probs out - he put the phone down on me ;)
Callers number --- 00501 Belize!!
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Cheeky buggers, aren't they.
At least you have the good sense to see it for what it was, many others just them in... :(
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yes but it's not straight forward to get into my pc either - these hackers can be clever Yp though can't they Yp Yp
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Good for you OC ;)
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I have had a couple of these phonecalls as well, I once explained that i had friends and a partner that knew loads about pc's his response was *well you cant get better than microsoft* Erm well you can i imagine but there ya go, after 2 phonecalls they havnt bothered to try again.
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20 Responses to Use With Telemarketers
1. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.
2. If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems. My arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died . . . "
3. If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located, how long it has been in business, how many people work there, how they got into this line of work if they are married, how many kids they have, etc. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.
4. This works great if you are male. Telemarketer: "Hi, my name is Judy and I'm with XYZ Company. " You: Wait for a second and with a real husky voice ask, "What are you wearing?"
5. Cry out in surprise, "Judy? Is that you? Oh my God! Judy, how have you been?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of terror as she tries to figure out where she could know you from.
6. Say "No" over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each one, and keep a rhythmic tempo, even as they are trying to speak. Sing in an operatic voice if possible. Or a "Tiny Tim" falsetto. This is most fun if you can do it until they hang up.
7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends Plan, reply, in as sinister a voice as you can, "I don't have any friends, would you be my friend?"
8. If the company cleans rugs, respond: "Can you get out blood? Can you get out goat blood? How about human blood?"
9. After the Telemarketer gives his or her spiel, ask him or her to marry you. When they get all flustered, tell them that you can't just give your credit card number to a complete stranger.
10. Tell the Telemarketer that you work for the same company, and they can't sell to employees.
11. Answer the phone. As soon as you realize it is a Telemarketer, set the receiver down, scream, "Oh my God!" and then hang up.
12. Tell the Telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask him/her if he/she will give you his/her home phone number so you can call him/her back. When the Telemarketer explains that telemarketers cannot give out their home numbers say, "I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home, right?" The Telemarketer will agree and you say, "Me either!" Hang up.
13. Ask them to repeat everything they say, several times.
14. Tell them it is dinner time, but ask if they would please hold. Put them on your speaker phone while you continue to eat at your leisure. Smack your food loudly and continue with your dinner conversation.
15. Tell the Telemarketer you are on "home incarceration" and ask if they could bring you some beer.
16. Ask them to fax the information to you, and make up a number.
17. Tell the Telemarketer, "Okay, I'll listen to you. But I should probably tell you, I'm not wearing any clothes."
18. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. "Come on, Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how's your momma?"
19. Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to speak up . . . louder . . . louder . . .
20. Tell them to talk very slowly, because you want to write every word down.
NOTICE: The above have all been tested and approved for use on telemarketers. No Telemarketers were harmed in the testing.
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@ Slacker ;D ;D ;D love em ;)
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Keep a loud whistle next to the phone and blow it very hard into the mouthpiece.
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:)) :)) :))
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I love Slacker's solution. I wish I'd read it earlier today when the dulcet tones of one of our ethnic cousins came down my phone announcing they were from Microsoft and telling me about the virus I had in my computer.
I made my husband jump when I yelled "Will ya just feck OFF!!!!!!" down the phone.
Husband's response was "Has someone just incurred your displeasure my sweet?"
>: Yp >: Yp >: Yp
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:)) :))
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I've just had one, kept him talking for about 10mins with all sorts of nonsense. How the guy didn't know I was taking the p155, I have no idea but he kept going on about the computer. In the end I told him I only use it for porn, and as the keyboard is all sticky, its now out of use.
He said he'll call back tomorrow!!!!!
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There's only one thing for it then Kev - get yer kecks off tomorrow and practice speaking in low tones...
:D :D :D
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These are phone calls saying your computer has a virus - right?
Just tell them you don't have a computer - simples (but I still think the loud whistle in their ear is best!)
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The answer is simple. Don't answer the phone.
If they want me, they've got my mobile number. Txt me :))
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Sounds as if they are doing the rounds in chessy and district! Some good ideas though :)) :))