Chesterfield Online Forum
General Category => General Discussion => Topic started by: Slacker on May 22, 2012, 08:38:36 PM
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There have been a couple of guilty rape cases in the nationals lately where there was no suggestion of force being used but there was a guilty verdict due to the women being too drunk to consent.
I have no sympathy with either of the perpetrators, one was a footballer who scored a hat-trick against Town and the other was a fox hunter, but I just wondered if this sets a new precedent.
Wonder what happens if a bloke wakes up with with a hangover and a woman at the side of him that he would never have done the deed with if he was sober? Maybe she had actively pursued him.
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Big can of worms Andy.
One was a footballer who scored a hat-trick against Town and the other was a fox hunter
Totally irrelevant. MD
Sex without consent is a no no. :(
Add beer to either party, one word against another :-\
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It's a discussion group, are you suggesting we should avoid controversial topics?. I just wanted to make it clear I am not taking sides with the accused but this sort of case seems to be a new thing (unless they have been around a while and there just happens to be 2 high profile ones.)
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It is a difficult one, and I think you would have to look at it on a case by case basis.
It would be easy for me as a Blade, to make excuses for Ched Evans, but I think the guilty decision was right.
In that case, the woman had sex with another footballer first, and he was also charged but was found not guilty. Though drunk, she willingly got picked up by him and went back to his hotel room, so how can you determine in that situation, what consent was or was not given.
However, it was after he had finished, that Ched Evans then entered the room, and had his turn, while his brother filmed it through the window. So much easier to see that she wasn't consenting to that when she initially got picked up.
On the broader issue of rape, though I think we have to protect / support the victims, I also think that we should do more to protect men who are charged maliciously when they have done nothing, maybe an ex just wants to stitch him up...I think that sort of stuff is on the increase.
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It certainly acts as a warning for a bloke who hooks up with a girl in a nightclub, what's the situation if both parties are drunk?
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Broadly agree with Kevin - and with Flyboy's can of worms statement and tbh I am out of my depth on this one.
Would be very interested to hear a woman's view on this.
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As K said, each case id different and we only read a brief summary in the press.
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Womans point of view --- I have 'never' put myself in a position with a man other than partners where I would be vulnerable to rape. I'm not sure why any woman would go to a private place with a man - unless she was up for sex?? I have had female friends in the past who have gone to night clubs with condoms in bag!! So they are up for it so to speak!
Rules for women - don't get so drunk when out with mates you don't know what you are doing - always a fella wanting a jump!
To be honest chaps it's plain common sense on any womans part so I have little sympathy when this happens and I make no appologies for that statement.
I am of course excluding rapes when a woman is abducted for that reason.
Just to turn the tables --- years back I remember a guy in the same position of a woman - he was raped by her! Both worked at the same place as me - both had too much to drink - and he was too drunk to stop her. Not sure how he errr managed 'it' though ;) :-[ :-[
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Thanks OC - seems like the onus is on the woman not to get completey blitz unless she is with friends that take responsibility for watching over her.
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I whole-heartedly agree with OC. If a woman is too drunk to know what she's doing, it's tough luck when the inevitable happens.
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It's a discussion group, are you suggesting we should avoid controversial topics?.
Not at all Andy.
it's tough luck when the inevitable happens.
In the ideal world, 'the inevitable' shouldn't happen >:(
But it does.
An old friend of mine once got a, 'down the alley', with a lass he met in Adam and Eve.
The following week he met her again, and the same happened.
The following morning he was picked up by the police.
He got 5 years for rape, stealing £2 and one of her earings :o
He swore blind to me and his mates, nothing non-consensual happened :-X
Someone was lying :-\
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Life was so much easier in my day - you mostly went out with someone a few times before any sexy stuff happened. And also we didn't feel the need to get bladdered above and beyond the call of duty.
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The other thing is that if it's not taken into consideration by the courts is that if the woman is saying she had been drinking heavily and couldn't stop the man --- what about the man??? If he had been drinking heavy wouldn't his condition also mean that he also couldn't stop his actions? Drink over takes the mind doesn't it. :(
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TBH - the biggest cause of trouble seems to be this obsession with drinking so much. Can't people enjoy themselves without half of Brampton Brewery down their neck?
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Can't people enjoy themselves without half of Brampton Brewery down their neck?
A) It's an escape from their mundane, miserable existence.
B) It's cheap.
C) There's f*ck all on TV.
D) Their parents did it, why shouldn't they?
E) It's a sh*t world, they like to fit in.
F) Their brain cells would fit on the end of a pin.
Need I continue?
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@ Fly that's a typical thing isn't it, and no one ever knows who is telling the truth.
I agree about the heavy drinking, this thing about 'having shots' before each drink and necking it back --- whats all that about?????
Few years back we bought a bottle of summat and sat sipping it --- daughter peed herself when we told her :)) told us we were suppose to just knock it back :o :))
It does seem as if the thing of today for many is to go out and just get blind drunk --- is it to look big in front of mates or what???? :(
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Alcohol is far too cheap and licencing enforcement non-existent. Licencees should refuse to serve anyone who appears to be drunk - simple as that. Licencing enforcement officers should issue 'yellow cards' to premises that don't comply, three yellow cards and licence gets withdrawn for a week. More than than three weekly closures and licence gets withdrawn for a month.
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My personal opinion is that if someone is visibly drunk and you want to get into bed with them, even if they are consenting, -you- should say no and wait until they're more sober so you can make sure they weren't just drunk talking. Even if they are insistent.
If someone got really drunk and told you to take all their money, it's would be common decency to realise they're really drunk and in reality would rather to keep their money. Not sure why it's so different when it comes to sex.
If you were genuinely interested, it's not like it'll kill you to wait and find out whether they meant it, is it?
And if you were just hoping for a quick fumble and you're a bit desperate... not to be massively crude, but just go home and 'relieve your frustrations' yourself.
Considerably less dodgy than getting it on with someone who is probably not going to remember consenting, or anything that happened the night before.
This goes for both genders. Unless they can look you in the eye while entirely sober and go "Yes, I would like to have sex with you" then just don't.
No, people shouldn't get so drunk and be more responsible for themselves, but they do, and they don't, so hey.
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@ Darax I totally agree with you, very well put!
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Is there not some kind of minor celebrity thing involved with this though?
I got screwed by some footballer or Z list celebrity so I can sell my story to whatever magazine is in this month?