Proud to be British

[Alsatian]

Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian
beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab on
the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese
TV. And the most British thing of all? Suspicion of anything foreign.

Oh and......

- Only in Britain... can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

- Only in Britain... do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to
the back of the shop to get their prescriptions - while healthy people can
buy cigarettes at the front.

- Only in Britain... do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a
DIET coke.

-Only in Britain...   do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to
the counters.

-Only in Britain... do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive
and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.

-Only in Britain... do we use answering machines to screen call and then
have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to
talk to in the first place.

-Only in Britain... are there disabled parking places in front of a skating
rink.

NOT TO MENTION...
- 3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue (EVEN
MORE AUSSIES DO THIS I UNDERSTAND - DGA).

- 142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts.

- 58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of
screwdrivers.

- 19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas
decorations were chocolate.

- British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker pulling
accidents.

- 101 people since 1999 have had broken parts of plastic toys pulled out of
the soles of their feet.

- 18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit
cigarette in their mouth.

- A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years after
opening bottles of beer with their teeth.

- 5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out of Control
Scalextric cars. and finally.........
 
- In 2000 eight Brits cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the
toilet.

I am proud to be British - I THINK??