Sperm count

[Alsatian]

Its HELL to be Old 
     
OLD people have problems that you haven't
even considered yet!   
 
       
An 85-year-old man was  requested by his 
Doctor for a sperm count as  part of his physical
exam.

The doctor gave  the man a jar and said, 'Take
this jar home and bring back a  semen sample
tomorrow.' 

The  next day the 85-year-old man reappeared
at the doctor's office and  gave him the jar,
which was as clean and empty  as on the 
previous day.   

The doctor asked what happened and the man
explained, 'Well, doc, it's  like this -- first I tried
with my right hand, but  nothing.  Then I tried
with my left hand, but still  nothing. 

'Then I asked my wife for help.  She  tried with
her right hand, then with her  left, still nothing. 
She tried with her mouth,  first with the teeth in,
then with her teeth out, still  nothing. 

'We even called up Arleen, the lady next door 
and she tried too, first with  both hands, then an
armpit, and she even tried  squeezin' it between
her knees, but still  nothing..'

The doctor was shocked! 
 
 
 
'You asked your  neighbour?'   
 
The old  man replied,   
 
   
'Yep, none of us could get  the jar  open.'