Phyllis Diller, the American comedienne, died a few days ago aged 95. These are a few of her one-liners...
"I'm in my 14th year of a 10-day beauty plan."
[On her wedding] "We had a civil ceremony – his mother couldn't come."
"Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight."
"Housework won't kill you, but then again why take the chance?"
"I do dinner in three phases; serve the food, clear the table, bury the dead."
"We spend the first 12 months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next 12 months teaching them to sit down and shut up."
[On her mother in law] "She got a water bed for Christmas, you know what's in there? Lake Erie."
"I want to look 65 again, like I did when I was 30."
"You know you're old when your birth certificate is on a scroll and they've discontinued your blood type."
Topic: Phyllis Diller (Read 1158 times)