Three hard mice

[Alsatian]

Three mice, one from Liverpool, one from Manchester and one from Glasgow, are sitting in a bar trying to impress each other as to how tough they are.

The Liverpool mouse throws down a shot of  bourbon, slams the empty glass on the bar and says "When I see a mousetrap, I lie on my back and set it off with my foot. When the bar comes down I catch it in my teeth, bench press it twenty times to work up an appetite, and then make off with the cheese".

The Manchester mouse orders two shots of tequila, gulps them down one after the other, slams down both glasses onto the bar,
turns to the Liverpool mouse and says, "Oh yeah? When I see rat poison, I collect as much as I can, take it home, grind it up into
powder and stir it into my coffee so I can get a good buzz going for the rest of the day".

The Liverpool mouse and the Manchester mouse then turn to the Glasgow mouse. The Glasgow mouse finishes his beer and lets out a long sigh, saying to the other two "I've heard enough o' this sh!te. Ah'm awa hame tae shag the cat".