One for the old men

[Old Cruser]

A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlour and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool... After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split.
The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?'
'No,' he replied, 'Arthritis.'
 

[Fly]

Little Johnny waded up to the ice cream van in his cowboy suit, chaps, stetson, dual holsters.
'I'd like a 99 ma'am'. Says Johnny in his bestest cowboy impersonation voice
'Would you like crushed nuts?' replies the lady in the van.
Johnny quickly draws two plastic Smith and Wessons out and points them to the ladies chest.
'Would you like ya t*t* blowing off?'

[Old Cruser]

 ) Rude Boy  )