Quiz for 'Gentlemen'!

[Alsatian]

1. In the company of feminists, coitus should be referred to as:

    (a) Lovemaking
    (b) Screwing
    (c) The pigskin bus pulling into tuna town

2. You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you've both shared:

    (a) Your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship
    (b) Your blood-test results
    (c) Five tequila slammers

3. You time your orgasm so that:

    (a) Your partner climaxes first
    (b) You both climax simultaneously
    (c) You don't miss "Sport at 7.00"

4. Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:

    (a) Healthy, creative love-play
    (b) Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend would ever agree to
    (c) Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend need ever find out about

5. Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you've just had sex with is:

    (a) The best part of the experience
    (b) The second best part of the experience
    (c) $100 extra

6. Your girlfriend says she's gained five pounds in weight in the last month. You tell her that it is:

    (a) No concern of yours
    (b) Not a problem - she can join your gym
    (c) A conservative estimate

7. You think today's sensitive, caring man is:

    (a) A myth
    (b) An oxymoron
    (c) A moron

8. Foreplay is to sex as:

    (a) Appetiser is to entree
    (b) Priming is to painting
    (c) A queue is to an amusement park ride

9. Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself saying at the end of a relationship?

    (a) "I hope we can still be friends."
    (b) "I'm not in right now. Please leave a message after the tone...."
    (c) "Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: You."

10. A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate:

    (a) Probably needs a little more time before she can cope with that sort of intimacy
    (b) Is uptight and a waste of time
    (c) Shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus in the first place

If you answered 'A' more than 7 times: Check your pants to make sure you really are a man.
If you answered 'B' more than 7 times: Check into therapy, you're still a little confused.
If you answered 'C' more than 7 times: Give me a call and let's get on the piss!!

[Fly]

(c) Shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus in the first place